So, the other day this boris, that's what we call spiders at my house, comes out of my closit crawling along the wall. He stays near the cealing so I call to the kids, who had been making Halloween decorations all evening, that I had a live one in my room. They run to come and look. There he is, a little wolf spider, just chilling on my wall. They look at him and leave unimpressed with his tiny little black fuzzy self.

So I sit and watch him, he is to far away to squish, so we enter a stare down. He starts to wiggle his way towards the bed, as he gets closer I panic realizing I do not have something to obliterate him with. So I  blow on him to try and get him to go back up. He doesn't... He moves even closer to my bed! So... I spit on him... Yep. Spit.. On.. Him.. Well he didn't like that. He hopped right off the wall, flying my direction, AND LANDED ON MY PILLOW IN MY BED!

I scream and the kids come running. I told them what I did and all they do is stand there laughing at me as I poke at my pillow to see where he went. I look at my oldest and say, "well I guess I won't be sleeping tonight." she proceeded to laugh harder and by this time I'm laughing too. She asked why I would spit on him. Well, little guy was going to my bed!

As the laughs die down he reappears! On the wall again! He's all like, girl, I saw what's under that pillow... You nasty... As he makes his way back up the wall. I beg my daughter to squish him. She tells me her best friend will never forgive her if she kills it. So... She grabs a cup and a letter to catch him!

She stands on my bed and gets the cup over him. He flips his shit in the cup. She scoots the letter between the cup and the wall and bam. Trapped. She shows him to my youngest daughter who immidiatly falls in love, because he is fuzzy after all. She begins to beg to keep him. Nope. Not a wolf spider. Sorry child.

On come the tears. As I open the glass door to let him outside, THERE'S ANOTHER ONE ON THE DOOR HANDLE!

nope... Nope... Nope... My youngest is insisting its to cold for him outside. He will die. It's not but she's bawling anyway insisting it is. She follows my oldest to the living room screaming to save him from the cold. "don't die him!" her small self bellows. So they made a deal. She follow my oldest out to decide where he will make his new home. She finds this satisfactory and they proceed to let it go in the hallway of the apartment complex. Oh well. He's not on my bed. I'm good.

JSW Sheldon